Office Romances....

"Have you ever been approached by a colleague..." he asked. He didn't even have to finish the sentence and I realised what he was asking. This got me to thinking about office romances/flings, the pro's the con's the hook-up's and break-up's

I have always been of the opinion that they are generally a bad idea, you know the old adage "don't dip your pen in the company ink pot" OR the lovely images invoked by "don't shit where you eat" (or something like that). Maybe it is because in my previous jobs I have never worked with anyone that has made me want to change that idea, but also the thought of what the hell happens when things go horribly wrong and you still have to work closely with this person, that I have never really given this much thought. However at my current job I have found myself rethinking my position.

I have known many people over the years who have met their future partners at work and all has gone very well for them, in fact I know of at least 2 couples where I am now, so obviously it can work but then I think you must know from the onset that there is more than just a physical attraction and you must both be looking for more than just a casual fling, or you both have to be the type of people that can separate work and pleasure and be able to not let the one effect the other... easier said than done.

ANYWAY, back to why I started this post...

I have two colleagues here who have made me rethink this idea... call them Mr X and Mr Y.

Mr X is oh soo cool and confident and self assured and would be great for a fling or casual booty-call (for lack of a better way to describe it) but I know that I am as far from his 'type' as it comes. He has the type of personality that draws people to him. A great guy, a good conversationalist, fun and sexy. The more I think about it the more I know that it wouldn't work and we would simply not be right for each other on all levels. So with him I am easily able to put those thoughts to the back of my mind and get on with life/work... now if only he would get out of my dreams (yup, twice in one week.... hmmmmmm)

Mr Y couldn't be more different from Mr X in appearance. He is as down-to-earth as it comes, a huge amount of fun, caring, gentle, funny, all around NICE GUY and bloody good looking to boot. He is everything I have ever wanted or looked for in a man but he is also UNAVAILABLE (and that is a boundary I am NOT prepared to cross). And believe me, if it wasn't for that last little detail, this notion of not mixing work with pleasure would have gone straight out of the window without even so much as a seconds hesitation. Now to perfect that human cloning thing :)

Anyway, just wanted to share my thought and ramblings... now it is your turn... have you ever? would you? how did it work out? don't be shy... TELL ALL

---------UPDATE ---------

Another thought/question connected to above and at the same time not...

At what point do you tell someone how you feel about them, even if you know that nothing more will come of it other than getting it out in the open, even if you have no idea how they will react all the time hoping that it won't f-up the friendship that you DO have????

The rollercoaster is heading UP

Life seems to be taking a turn for the better recently, things are just falling into place, the gods are smiling upon me, and the roses are in bloom.

Since the last altercation with BEFH he has left us alone... finally... and all is well with the world (well at least my little one). My immediate concerns were what about my holiday (I really really don't want to cancel), where will the kids go? What about the house (he and I are both the registered owners - i.e. he still owns half of MY house)? What about my sanity? What about the funds to sort out the previous issues (house and holiday)? But you know what... it is all taken care of.

So here are the updates:

The Little'uns - will be going to my folks for the two weeks that I am away. My mom was meant to be working for the first of the two but has told the powers that be (and there aren't many as she is one of the directors) that she will be available from home for the first week and on leave in the second. The kids love staying there and are already getting excited at the prospects of two whole weeks of being spoilt rotten.

The House - I started making inquiries with a lawyer about 2 months ago about what we need to do to get the house transferred solely into my name, and yesterday I fetched the papers from him that will allow this to happen. This did mean that I had to make contact with BEFH as he needs to sign some of the paperwork, but he isn't putting up a fuss about it (seems to have gotten the hint). This does however mean that I need to pay transfer costs on half the property value, which brings me nicely to my next point.

The Money - At first I thought that I would have to take out a loan to pay the costs for the house (there is no bond registered so wouldn't be able to dig into those funds) and was heading out to the bank today to talk to the manager about getting a personal loan. I also have an investment account with funds that I had saved up over the years, however I didn't think that there was enough there to cover even half the amount I needed and that I was intending to use for my holiday accommodation and spending money. I decided to stop on the way and check... just for good measure... and guess what, I have enough there to cover the transfer and all the peripheral costs involved and have enough to spare for my holiday. I'M OVER THE MOON

and lastly... The Holiday - EVERYTHING is done... all that is left to do is for me to get on the plane. The tickets are booked and paid for, the hotels are booked, the visa's are all sorted and back with me... now just to wait the last few days till I get on the plane and head off into the wild blue yonder.

Hormones? maybe...

I don't know what has got into me lately. The last two weeks I have been soo angry... angry at life, angry at God, angry at myself... and I am taking it out on the two people that spend the most time around me... my children. In the last two days this has suddenly turned to sadness... no, more than that... Heartache. The smallest things are setting me off, sitting here writing this post I am on the verge of tears for the 9th time today and about the 100th time this weekend.

I have been struck with an absolute feeling of despair, of confusion, of a lack of direction in my life... a feeling of existence instead of living. I have had a nervous breakdown before and been thrown into the grip of depression that only medical assistance could get me out of and avoid me taking my own life... I am NOT there now, I know the warning signs though and am worried that I may be heading that way again...

Yesterday I almost ended things with Irish... I had hit the lowest point of my day and he was the target of my aggression. Maybe I still should (end it that is) as I am no good to anyone at the moment... not that he would even know THAT... his list of priorities goes something like this:
work
socialising
work
mother
work
flat
work
dog
work
meeting new young single carefree childless spontaneous woman... no... GIRL

FUCK IT... why should I care, I have been the one saying all along that I don't want anything serious (and I DON'T). He has the potential to be a good, even a great, friend... and I am quickly ruining any chance of that at the moment. If he finds someone that is more suited to his way of life, then I am happy for him. I have witnessed him at his worst, with anger targeted towards a certain ex (of his) that was causing some problems in his life... and I stuck around... let's hope he can see my worst, and accept it. If not... then it is HIS loss.

You know what... I have just realised and remembered why I started this blog in the first place. It is a place for me to vent.. to let out these emotions and thoughts and ramblings instead of bottling them up inside as I always used to do. I am feeling a little bit better right now (even though I am sure it will be short lived - so expect an update this evening).

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*update*

Just when I thought my day was taking a turn for the better... when my ex-mother-in-law had taken the kids for a visit for a few hours, giving me a momentary respite and chance to breath and catchup on the housework that had been piling up this weekend, just when I had a quick lie down to recharge my batteries.... and I have a visit from BEFH!!!

This time he physically cornered me in the garden, again proclaiming his love and rambling on about how he should have fought for me when he had the chance. One of those many many many that I gave him through our 6 years of marriage.... or all the times I fought to save the marriage through our year of separation... including the times when I actually DID take him back only for him to fall straight back into his old habits...

Can you believe he physically stood in my way and wouldn't let me get past him. He even restrained me when I tried to get around him, and before you all shout domestic abuse... NO he did not strike me in any way. He doesn't operate like that... he is a manipulator of the mind and emotions. Normally I could put up with this, but he caught me at a week point today and for the first time in a long time he actually saw me crying, and I hate the fact that I let him see that he is getting to me, that he is having an emotional impact on me (even if it is anger and hate).

Soul mate: Fact or Fiction?

My mind very seldom slows down (although many would dispute that), and over supper I found myself contemplating the existence of soul mates. This while gnawing down on chicken drumsticks. While eating with my hands my thoughts jumped to a particular friend who refuses to eat with his hands - even burgers and pizza's get the knife and fork treatment. This is someone who I actually have a fair deal in common with, but enough differences to keep me intrigued at the same time.

Then from here my mind made the giant leap to the concept of soul mates (of course). What makes a person a soul mate, is it the things you have in common or the things that are different, or maybe it is a combination of the two? Do soul mates even exist at all or is it all just a figment of our fairy-tail-stimulated-imaginations?

What do you think???? Have you found your soul mate? and if so, HOW do you KNOW that they are the one??? Is there only one perfect person out there for each of us (if any)???

I am by nature a romantic, so I do (or at least used to) believe in the existence of this mythical match, but my experiences over the last 29 years (okay well at least the last 10) makes me doubt this belief slightly. Then I think back to my grandparents who made it to their 52n'd wedding anniversary. Now no-one other than them will ever know if they truly did attain this magical match, but hope they did, and then I have a glimmer of hope that I might find MY match one day...

The BEFH: The Saga Continues

Maybe it is just me (I doubt it), but just in case I am throwing this out for comment. My ex has decided that the following is completely logical and sensical... This is the culminating statement of last night's fiasco... "Well if I can't see you then I don't want to see the kids either!". WTF.

Someone please explain to me on what planet that makes sense. His 'explanation' of this statement is that he sees me and the kids as one unit and cannot separate his love for us. Therefore the fact that I have told him to fuckoff out of my life once and for all means that he feels he cannot stand to see the kids again either.

This all came about after I got home yesterday after my sons concert (which was soooo cute) to find that he had set up a complete candle lit dinner in MY lounge, and me completely loosing my cool and telling him it is unacceptable, unwanted, invasion of privacy (AGAIN), I'll be changing my locks and getting a restraining order against what I now consider to be a stalker. "But I die a little bit each time I walk away from you" he said... to which I responded that he must just fuckoff and die now as I NEVER EVER EVER want to see him again other than at kid exchanges.

AARRRGGGGGGGG

You know what... good riddance to bad rubbish is all I can say.

By the time he left I was soooo frazzled by the events of the evening, and was left quite upset and even sad... but let me explain why before you start thinking that I still have an iota of feeling for the man.

Why was I upset... well for 2 reasons... one selfish and one not

1. My children... How do I explain to them that their father doesn't want to see them again? Do I bother trying to explain it at all? As much as I can't stand the sight of him anymore, they do still need a father in their lives... Especially my son

2. My 'me' time (the time I had to myself when they went to their father) is now gone. It is not that I want to get away from my kids (couldn't be further from the truth). But those fortnightly breaks help me to restore some of my sanity, and unwind and have some adult conversation. My time to just do what I want, when I want and how I want. But more than THAT... what will I do with them now during my planned, booked and paid for holiday at the end of the year.

This is not the first time he has pulled this 'stunt', but the big difference is that in the past I would give in (due to above 2 reasons) and put up with him and his presence in my life. BUT NOT ANYMORE. As for the rest, well... I'll survive, I always do... and I am going to have to start relying on family more.

A night to remember... Fatal blogging mistake... And the EX from HELL

WOW, WOW, WOW, Incredible, Fantastic, Spectacular... Last night was in a word... AMAZING.

This is the third time I have had the pleasure of seeing LIVE in concert in Cape Town and each time they get better and better - as does the crowd. I went with Ms C and met up with her sister and BIL. We also tracked down Adumski & Samwise and a few of their friends (A... You are off the proverbial hook for now). Later Yummy-D was spotted (although that is not a difficult thing as this 6'4" person stands out in the crowd a little) with L2.

It was an evening of incredible music and much dancing, singing (shouting) and FUN. The Parlotones were the opening act for the evening and they were also SUPERB... they had the crowd up and on their feet from the very first song and what followed was 4 hours of ROCK. YEEEAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH. Needless to say my feet and voice are suffering a little this morning... but it was WELL WORTH IT.

Irish was there aswell although he had managed to secure golden circle tickets with a backstage pass through a friend (proving again that it is WHO you know not WHAT you know that counts), and HERE lies my fatal blogging mistake. Not long after I met him I, in a moment of madness, told him about my blog. This has meant that I have been censoring my entries concerning him a little... but not any more.

IRISH... if you are reading this... please be warned that this is a place for me to vent anonymously and let off steam when needed... so keep that in mind when reading any future entries... better yet... stop reading them.

And now for the slimy, manipulative, bastard ex from hell.

Last week I told him about the fact that I had met someone... and that is all I told him. This then sent him into a 5 day sulk from which he emerged last night. Seeing as I was going out for the evening, he came to babysit the kids and in the 20 minutes that I was at home for a quick change out of work attire and freshening up to go out he cornered me and continued to profess his undying love for me.

AARRRGGGGGG, does this bastard just not get it. When we were married he was never around... when we were separated he couldn't give a flying fuck about trying to fix things... now, almost 2 years after we were divorced, after I have made peace with the fact that it is over and am no longer angry/depressed/sad, after I have moved on and a statement like that simply has NO MORE EFFECT ON ME... he has the audacity to tell me that he has never loved me as much as he does now, and how he can't live without me, and then fucking tries to kiss me. KISS ME.... it was all I could do not to bitch-slap him. He is a leach.... no... worse than that... he is a microbe that lives in the slimy scum of a leach.

For the sake of the kids I have been trying to keep a friendship going between him and I, but I simply cannot do this anymore. My life is complicated enough, and it is time to start removing some of these complications. I foresee all the locks at home being replaced very very soon, and all kid exchanges happening in public venues from now on. He is still their father and I will have to put up with him at all school events and important day's in their lives... but I will no longer tolerate him in MY home.

Where did all my single friends go?

I have found myself in an odd situation. I love socializing but the life I have led over the last 7 years has meant that I am sitting here tonight ACHING to go out and have a few drinks and dance and relax and socialize but have NO ONE to do it with.

When I was in high school and at varsity I had many many friends that I would do just this with. Not one weekend went by without a something happening till the wee hours of the morning. Then I got knocked up and married and THAT became my whole life for 6 years. I have completely lost contact with 99% of those friends (and only have myself to blame for that) and replaced them with equally good married or single-parent friends.

Don't get me wrong... They are great friends but it means that when I have a free weekend (kids with their dad) and want to go out on a Friday night I will have to do it alone...

Lady-B - at home with her family (husband and 3 sons) and enjoying some rare quality time with them
The Empress - out on a date with Mr S
Theater-girl - single, but has some function happening at the theater and can't go out, as much as she would like to
Adumski - well... Still working on that one... Never comes to any event I have invited him to, and so have got to the point where I am about to stop asking
Yummy-D - at home babysitting his daughter while his wife visits her ailing mother (now this one I can't fault)
Ms C - let's just say she is more of a homebody and really does not enjoy the club/pub scene much at all

Now I have found myself single again and desperately in need of building my circle of single friends... Somehow... hmmmmm. Bit of a catch 22 though because you need to be socializing to meet new people in the first place.

Anyway, on a cheerier note. I now have my tickets to Jordan in December in my hot little hands. It turned out a bit more expensive than expected as I completely overlooked the fact there people are traveling for pilgrimage at that time of year and the airline I wanted to fly with (one of the best and cheapest) - Qatar Airline - is fully booked. So have managed to secure myself place on an Emirates flight at twice the price. Oh well. I am still bloody excited though. Cannot wait. Leave 26 December 2006 and back 8 January 2007.

Dinner and.... um....

I have never been one to 'kiss and tell', but that statement by itself will hint at the goings on of last night.

Irish (as he will be known from now on) invited me to dinner and a movie at his place. Now considering that I had an office function on during the afternoon followed by drinks, I arrived at his house rather relaxed to start off with.

What a view from his place... over the city bowl and the entire bay, but very definitely a bachelors pad (not that that is a bad thing) going for the minimalist look. Dinner was lovely, accompanied by a bottle of wine and followed by a movie.... well almost. Unfortunately we got a little distracted and I missed most of it :)

I can definitely give him the two thumbs up in the kissing department though, so it seems that prospects are improving with this one :) I did however get home at a reasonable hour (if 11 PM can be considered reasonable on a work night) and am very much looking forward to the next one.

VIP Visitors

After reading Kyk and Katt's volumous re-telling of the same, I fear that I will never do either of them any justice. They got to spend 4 glorious days in each other’s company and allowed me a momentary glimpse for a few hours on Sat.

The interactions started on Friday around lunchtime with taunting messages from Kyk about how they were enjoying the splendid spring day at Kirstenbosch. Unfortunately I did not get to see Kyk talking to the goose, the flowers or the butterfly... I missed the red-neck-teeth and talking to the turd-in-the-toilet... however having these events retold was a sight to see in itself as they were both still in hysterics.

Saturday evening was in a word... SUBLIME... Having met Kyk once before for coffee ("Kyk and coffee" HAHAHAHAH) I kind of knew what I was letting myself in for. When Katt said that she laughed so much that her cheeks hurt, she was in no way exaggerating. Kyk is truly one of the most naturally funny people I have met, it is absolutely effortless (or at least he makes it appear such).

They arrived bearing food and flowers, and after being ushered into the house carefully navigating the over excited kids and pets we settled into an evening of good food, good wine, excellent company and hilarious conversation. My house has what people fondly refer to as an open plan kitchen-dining room (which is a polite way of say crap small kitchen and dinning area shoved into one room) which at least makes it quite easy for people to sit at the table and hold a conversation with the person in the kitchen (in this case... Kyk).

Dinner was superb... all prepared for us by Kyk. Food always seems to taste that much better when someone else cook's it. And the conversation flowed from power tools and oversized drillbits to hunting, toy shopping, loves (of the current/potential and unrequired varieties), life and everything in-between.

After supper I was introduced to a new game... Pass-the-pig (you are now hearing from the self-proclaimed Regional Champ), followed by even more alchol (for Katt and myself) and ended with talk of elephants.

Definitely an evening worth repeating.

Who are we REALLY??

On the weekend I had a discussion with a fellow blogger (over a cup of decaf Americano) about how we show different faces to different people and situations. How, for example, someone who is completely outgoing and extroverted on their blog can actually be very shy and quiet and melancholy in person. Or how we only show portions of ourselves and all of us have these HUGELY busy lives and things going on that no one ever really finds out about. I have always tried to be as true to myself as possible here, in other words the personality I have here is pretty much how I am (those of you who actually know me are welcome to comment on that one), BUT I will admit that there are large parts of my life that I do not mention here (or at least only hint at), but then again, I don’t talk about these things with anyone in the real world either (bestest bestest friend excluded). However, something momentous is happening in my life at the moment (not necessarily good, but positive in the long run) and I am going to loose my pensive self for the duration of this post and let you all in.

Background (in a nut shell)

My ex-husband is an emotionally manipulative, obsessive compulsive, jealous, control freak. Surprisingly though, when I was married to him I was young and naive in the middle of this and didn’t always see him for what he is, and when I did I would always try and make excuses for him and explain it away. It wasn’t until very near the end of my marriage that I started to really see him for what he is (something that everyone besides myself saw up to that point)… hindsight is 20/20 right? After a long drawn out divorce process of me trying to get us to come to some sort of agreement without getting lawyers involved only for him to change his mind or refuse to sign the papers at the 11th hour, I decided to go ahead with the original summons and just get the divorce. So in the end we parted (in the legal sense) with a basic divorce, visitation (I have custody) and maintenance amount set down. However, the house, which is still registered in both our names, remained as is. I honestly thought we could make this work, even with everyone telling me that all it is doing is giving him an in, a certain level of control over us as he still sees that house as his home.

Over the last 18 months he has slowly embedded himself back in our lives (or attempted to), he honestly thinks he can come and go as he pleases, that we will always be there to welcome him in. He even has the audacity to loose his temper at me if I decided to go with the kids and he comes around and we aren’t there. He insists on buying flowers (which he knows ends up in the bin) and gifts and offers of weekends away (if he had put in half this effort when we were married things may have turned out differently – well MAYBE), even after I turn down every single offer and tell him for the 100th time to drop the pseudo-family friendly-friendly bulls$!t. Whenever he finds himself backed into a corner there is one of two cards that get played… either the “woe is me, you only want everything, well then… take it all I don’t care” scenario gets played out OR the “I’m depressed and if I can’t see the kids everyday then I don’t want to see them at all, I’m going to work overseas or kill myself” scene. On the rare occasion, both – last night being case in point.

Growing up

I am, and have always been, the kind of person who tries to make sure that EVERYONE is happy. Putting everyone else’s feelings before my own, heaven forbid I should cause someone to be upset or hurt by something that I have said or done. Over the last year however I have made peace with everything that happened between us and am making a concerted effort to move forward with my life. And one of the big changes that comes with that is the realization that I need to come first sometimes, particularly when it comes to ‘HIM’. I have wasted far too much time and energy already trying to make sure I don’t ‘hurt’ him (can you believe it after all that he has put me through). I no longer allow myself to be manipulated by him.

LAST NIGHT

After yet another weekday visit which results in him staying for dinner, he phones me later in the evening going on about “family” trips away to Natures Valley at which point something in me snapped… a switch was suddenly flicked and the doormat that was… is no more. I am sick and tired of sugarcoating everything I say to him, and so laid out the law in no uncertain terms. NO weekends away are EVER going to happen. All gifts/flowers/choc/etc will end up in the bin. The happy-family crap is going to stop NOW. He needs to get out of his self-absorbed, self-centered little world and acknowledge and accept the part the HE played in the breakup of our marriage. And True to form, he pulled both ace cards out his sleeve. “You take everything and I am never seeing the kids again”. Now, I am not a bitch in any form, and as much as I am really tempted to do just that, I cannot and will not. I have never had any intention of keeping the kids from him or “taking him to the cleaners” leaving him with nothing. Although it is really tempting right now.

He no longer has any control over our lives.
I need to get hold of a property lawyer and figure out how much it will cost to buy him out of the house (and if I cannot afford to then it will be going on the market).

So, even though I am fluctuating between laughing/shouting for joy and crying/breaking down in a heap on the mat… I know that all this IS A GOOD THING. I am stronger for it and will come out on top in the end.

Who ever said life would be easy

Tattoo's...

Last year I got my first tattoo... it was the marking of the end of a stage in my life. In January my divorce was finalised and in June I resigned from my job. So on the weekend after leaving said job and before starting the new one I went and got my first tattoo. The Bug Bit. It has now been just over 1 year and I am in the process of planning my second.

I already know what it is going to be, I am now just searching for the perfect design, a FIRE DARGON. I have always had a fascination with dragons, which started as recurring dreams in my childhood, and there is a particular image from these dreams that I am trying to put down into something that can be used as a tattoo.

Here are 2 images I have already found (from a site which watermarks the designs)... they are very different but both have something about them that I LOVE, and although I am leaning towards the second one, it is still not quite what I am looking for, and seeing as I will be branding myself for life it HAS to be perfect.

Wonderful Womans Day

Today was Woman's Day here in the beautiful South Africa, and mine has been absolutely fantastic. Originally the plan was to spend the day shopping for odds and ends for the kids (daughter has grown out of all her winter clothes again) and possible take a few more cars for test drives. But then, when I viewed the weather report yesterday and realised that we would be in store for a glorious spring day I changed all my plans. So this morning, after breakfast, I grabbed my camera, packed the kids in the car and headed up the R27 (a.k.a. West Coast road - aptly named as it runs all the way up the western coast of the country) in search of the renowned spring flowers which are reportedly in bloom a month early due to the rain this year.

WOW... and double WOW. We ended up in a dorpie about 200km's outside of Cape Town called Dwarskersbos and the surrounding veld was just bathed in beautiful white and yellow and orange and mauve flowers. It really was beautiful. We did the mandatory photo snaps with kids and flowers, a little walkabout to stretch out the legs and then turned the car around to start heading back, with the intention of grabbing lunch on the way.

Now, one of the very well known restaurants (and I use that word lightly - you'll see why later) is just outside of Langebaan and is called Die Strandlooper (literally translated into The Beachwalker). This is where I decided to pull in at noon for lunch not truely realising what lay in store for us. To set the scene... Die Strandlooper is quite literally on the rocks by the beach... there is no building to speak of, instead the tables are made out of cement with wooden planks for benches, open fires in rock mounds are everywhere. The atmosphere is completely relaxed. And the food... oh the food... It is a set price for adults, children under 12 pay per height and the under 5's eat free.

We started off with fresh home made bread straight off the fire with fresh cooked mussels (plain or garlic) AWESOME... this was followed by braaied Harder (a type of fish) DELLICIOUS... then seafood paella MOUTH WATERING... then lamb stew (yup lamb... couldn't quite figure that one out) DELECATBLE... then braaied Snoek ALL TIME FAVOURITE... then Stompneus (Stumpnose) and smoked Angel Fish INCREDIBLE... and to top it all off Crayfish tails WOWWIE. And along with all of these the fresh bread and home made preserves just kept coming. This entire EVENT takes about 3.5 hours to complete but it is the best spent 3.5 hours I have had in a long time. The kids were in heaven, they could run around on the beach (with buckets and spades provided by the restaurant) while I could sit back, enjoying the beautiful sun and having the most relaxing afternoon.

Family Update…

Let’s start with the angels/demons (depending on the day).

What I have noticed is that they are never both angles or both demons on the same day. They seem to take turns with each, for example… Yesterday morning my daughter (the headstrong, stubborn, self confident, 7 year old) who is normally the SLOWEST person on earth when it comes to getting dressed in the morning, having to be reminded of every little thing from where her shoes are to packing her bag, decided that she was actually going to get herself up and dressed and packed all with out me having to say a word. ANGEL. My son on the other hand (the equally headstrong, but still small enough to be picked up and put in his place, 3 year old) decided that he was not going to get up, and when I did manage to rouse him from his slumber at around 7:30AM (when I should be heading out the door), he decided that he simply was not going to get dressed, this in turn led to a wrestling match with me pinning him down to get his pj’s off. Round one to mom. Now imagine little three year old tearing around the house in his undies, locating his pj’s and putting them back on in delighted defiance. He ended up going to crèche in his pj’s, with a change on clothes in this bag for when he decided to co-operate. DEMON. And in perfect contrast, this morning I was back to rushing her along while he quietly got himself dressed in his room. Maybe I should be grateful… single-handedly dealing with demon’s in stereo does not sound like a pleasant task.

Next update… the EX. Leopards will truly never, ever change their spots. This he proves to me time and time again. Friday being a case in point. Now that I am no longer the naive little girl that he married and am no longer susceptible to his manipulation and lies and deception I am able to see though all the afore mentioned and see him for what he truly is. That said, he doesn’t seem to realize this yet. Anyway, to cut a really really long story short, he pulled a typical stunt and completely dropped off the face of the planet on Friday, this being the day that he was meant to pick the kids up from school as they were to spend the weekend with him. I in the meantime ended up in the usual Friday afternoon chaos at the office, but seeing as no-one could track him down had to leave early to do the school run all the while trying to track him down (which I eventually did manage to do). He was holed up at his step mothers house (which he is house-sitting) with all forms for telephonic communication unavailable, that is at least until I rang the doorbell at which point everything miraculously started working. Now for those of you who don’t know the history here (which is most of you) he has a certain addiction to things far too readily available on the internet, and his step-mom’s house has a computer, a modem and a telephone line… not a good combination when he is added to the mix.

Oh... Life... what else can I say...

Fun Friday - for the women

Pic of the Week

This is definitley one of my favorite pictures of my daughter. It was taken on top of Table Mountain, could it be as long as two years ago. She really has grown up quickly.
And this little man is my son, attempting to help with the gardening at ouma and oupa's holiday house. This is also about a year old and he has changed soooo much in that last year. He is still my little blonde haired angel, and always will be.

Taste is all relative

Someone asked me recently about my CD collection and what type of music I like. I have a very varied taste in music; basically it includes everything except Rap and Country (and even in these 2 categories there are a few that I will listen to). So, what I decided is to put my music player on random and cycle through the 1500 songs I have. Below I will list the artist, title and first line (as I hear them) of the first 15 songs that come on - might give a little insight into the chaos that is my mind.

1) Nirvana – Lake of Fire – Where do bad folks go where they die…
2) Kill ‘em all – Seek and Destroy – Scanning the scene in the city tonight, looking for you to start up a fight…
3) Seether – Broken – I wanted you to know, I love the way you laugh…
4) Linkin Park – Faint – I am a little bit of loneliness little bit of disregard…
5) Audioslave – Yesterday To Tomorrow – Beauty is what eyes behold…
6) Live – All over you – Our love is like water…
7) Maroon 5 – The sun – After school, walking home, fresh dirt under my fingernails…

At which point window media player “encountered a problem” and had to be restarted…

8) Savage Garden – Affirmation – I believe the sun should never set upon an argument…
9) Coldplay – Talk - Oh brother I can’t, I can’t get through…
10) James – Laid – This bed is on fire with passionate love…
11) Live – Take my anthem – War in me, war overseas, aint no difference between…
12) Robbie Williams – Karma Killer – Are you cut-up, or do you easily forget…
13) Metallica – Carpe Diem Baby - Hit dirt, shake tree, split sky, part sea…
14) Dido – Take my hand – Touch my skin and tell me what you’re thinking…
15) Eric Clapton – Wonderful tonight - It’s late in the evening, she’s wondering what clothes to wear…

Actually that might explain quite a lot… and Kyk, thanks for the inspiration.

The Good Weekend

Well… good news point no. 1. This morning when I woke up and stared at the bathroom scale there were 2 things going through my mind… please don’t let it have gone up… and please don’t let it have stayed the same either. Not that I feel accountable to anyone other than myself on this issue, but I know now much effort I put in last week (and although I could definitely have been better, compared to my previous eating habits I was an angel). So very tentatively I got on the scale, looked down, got off and let out an almighty WOOP. DOWN 2 kg’s… YEAH. It is so incredibly motivating to actually see the results of your efforts, and this was just the best start to a week. Now to keep up the good work.

Good news point no. 2. No, I haven’t yet bought myself a scanner, however I have temporarily re-housed my brother’s one. This then made for endless amusement this weekend. I have been delving into my various boxes of photos and am slowly (very slowly… it is a VERY SLOW SCANNER) getting them digitized. I then also got myself a Flickr account (see funky little java thingy on the right hand side of page) and have been loading my pictures. However, in 2 short days I have reached my monthly bandwidth limit… luckily the month is over today, so from tomorrow I should be able to start uploading again. This will also give me time to scan the second pile in. At this rate I will be at it till Christmas, but I am having lots of fun in the process.

Good news point no. 3. For a few months now I have been um’ing and ah’ing over trading in my 8 year old Hyundai. The question has been, what am I going to get… should I go new or second hand, should I stay with comfy little 4 door sedan or upgrade to the likes of a Scenic. I am very happy with my little Accent and was ecstatic to hear this recently that they are coming back to SA. This morning my little jalopy is going in for a full valet and on the weekend I am taking the new Accent for a test drive and getting a valuation on my existing one for a trade in. If all goes well, I will be driving around in a brand spanking new car within the next few weeks… my first NEW car... no more second hands for me :)

And the best for last… Good news point no. 4. LIVE are coming back to SA for the third time in a series of concerts on their ‘Songs from Black Mountain’ tour. I was OVER THE MOON when I saw the ad on TV this weekend and immediately got on to computicket to find out the details. The tickets have not yet gone on sale, but as soon as they do you can bet I’ll be first in line.

Step 1: Admit you have a problem

OKAY, OKAY, I give… My name is M and I am a CHOCOHOLIC. I will openly admit that I am addicted to chocolate, in the true sense of the work “addict”. Smooth, creamy, milk chocolate to dark bitter-sweet Albany to chocolate on bread, in milk, with a little chili over fillet…Ohhhhhhhh.

Yesterday was the first day since… I don’t know when… I made it through the day without any chocolate, and this is no small feat. Normally, if I manage to keep myself away from the spaza shop downstairs in the building for an afternoon chocolate run (which on average includes 2 or 3 choc’s), I find myself in the throws of cravings in the evening at home, and heaven forbid there actually isn’t any in the house (which is unlikely as I would have eaten it already) then I start to raid the cupboards. Milo, Nesquick, chocolate spread… anything that will give me that satisfaction. This might also be a key factor to the constant weight gain.

Why is it that the things that are the worst for you, taste the best?

BUT Last night I managed, with much willpower, to beat those cravings into submission and stayed away. This is truly a momentous occasion for me, a turning point, the first step on the road to recovery :) I just had a revelation… all I did was swap my addiction to cigarettes… with chocolate. I guess there are worse things to be addicted to.

Wacky Weekend (in no particular order)

My Saturday evening was spent at Hanover Street at Grand West to see Scarlet Box, Evolver and Prime Circle live… WOW, Amazing, Incredible. I have been a Prime Circle fan for a while now, having first seen them perform when they were the opening act for Live, then again at the Coca-Cola Collab Massive Mix (a.k.a. METALLICA) concert in Cape Town. They are definitely one of S.A.’s foremost Rock bands. They never fail to entertain the crowds, and Saturday was no exception. It was also the first time that I have had the opportunity to see Evolver perform live and boy was it worth it. Their re-make of ‘play that funky music WHIITEE BOOOYYYY’ was awesome. Most people will recognize their hit ‘Let’s get naked’ if they hear it. I will definitely be looking out to see when they are performing in Cape Town again. All in all an INCREDIBLE evening.

This was without a doubt the highlight of my weekend, and seeing as the kids were with dad it didn’t matter that I crawled into bed at 2AM because I could sleep as late as I wanted anyway, which turned out to be 10:30AM. I then had to get up and try to get myself into a reasonable state before fetching the kids and heading off to a friends braai… the invite said ‘come rain, or snow’ we will be braai-ing… and would you know it, we had both. Well snow on the out-of-town mountains, but being true South Africa Manna they stood in the rain and continued with (what Katt has now coined) the meat-tanning session.

Here follow the 2 low points of my weekend…

No.1 – an ever more jealous ex-husband. Yes I said ex, why he thinks he has any right to be jealous is beyond me. And I am not even seeing anyone yet. I don’t know what has got into this man (and I use that term very loosely) lately. I am obviously sending out signals that I am (and have) moved on because he is using every available opportunity to question me about my whereabouts. What gives him the right to ask me questions about where I am going and whom I am going with? And to top it all off, he actually has the audacity to phone me on Saturday morning to check if I am alone, and not even subtly, he blatantly came out and asked me (WHAT THE F&*K). It is truly beyond me.

No. 2 – an impending wardrobe malfunction… well maybe not wardrobe. A couple of years ago I lost 20kg’s (it was needed after giving birth to my second child) and in the process I weeded out all the old clothes that I vowed I would never need again. In the meantime I also decided to give up smoking and have subsequently put at least half of that weight back on. I am now stuck with a wardrobe FULL of clothes that don’t fit me… AARRRGGGGG. I am determined not to go out and buy a whole new set of clothes as I WILL loose this weight (I will, I will, I will, I will). What I have decided is to give me the motivation I would report back here once a week on the progress…. That way I will have you lot on my case if it goes in the wrong direction (that is of course assuming that any of you actually give a shit about this – but at least I will have it on my conscience that it is out there in the land of the public blog for any and all to view). So on the right of the page (below my weekly glittery/blinky thing) will be a record of my progress. It will be set to 0kg’s and 0cm’s today and each Monday morning I will increment it by the amount of weight or centimeters lost in the last week (i.e. positive number means x kg’s lost) Let’s hope this works, if next week you see that it has disappeared completely you will know that it has all gone pear-shaped (literally)

The morning after the night before...

enough said




Never NEVER again.... at least till next time :)