Maybe it is just me (I doubt it), but just in case I am throwing this out for comment. My ex has decided that the following is completely logical and sensical... This is the culminating statement of last night's fiasco... "Well if I can't see you then I don't want to see the kids either!". WTF.
Someone please explain to me on what planet that makes sense. His 'explanation' of this statement is that he sees me and the kids as one unit and cannot separate his love for us. Therefore the fact that I have told him to fuckoff out of my life once and for all means that he feels he cannot stand to see the kids again either.
This all came about after I got home yesterday after my sons concert (which was soooo cute) to find that he had set up a complete candle lit dinner in MY lounge, and me completely loosing my cool and telling him it is unacceptable, unwanted, invasion of privacy (AGAIN), I'll be changing my locks and getting a restraining order against what I now consider to be a stalker. "But I die a little bit each time I walk away from you" he said... to which I responded that he must just fuckoff and die now as I NEVER EVER EVER want to see him again other than at kid exchanges.
Someone please explain to me on what planet that makes sense. His 'explanation' of this statement is that he sees me and the kids as one unit and cannot separate his love for us. Therefore the fact that I have told him to fuckoff out of my life once and for all means that he feels he cannot stand to see the kids again either.
This all came about after I got home yesterday after my sons concert (which was soooo cute) to find that he had set up a complete candle lit dinner in MY lounge, and me completely loosing my cool and telling him it is unacceptable, unwanted, invasion of privacy (AGAIN), I'll be changing my locks and getting a restraining order against what I now consider to be a stalker. "But I die a little bit each time I walk away from you" he said... to which I responded that he must just fuckoff and die now as I NEVER EVER EVER want to see him again other than at kid exchanges.
AARRRGGGGGGGG
You know what... good riddance to bad rubbish is all I can say.
By the time he left I was soooo frazzled by the events of the evening, and was left quite upset and even sad... but let me explain why before you start thinking that I still have an iota of feeling for the man.
Why was I upset... well for 2 reasons... one selfish and one not
1. My children... How do I explain to them that their father doesn't want to see them again? Do I bother trying to explain it at all? As much as I can't stand the sight of him anymore, they do still need a father in their lives... Especially my son
2. My 'me' time (the time I had to myself when they went to their father) is now gone. It is not that I want to get away from my kids (couldn't be further from the truth). But those fortnightly breaks help me to restore some of my sanity, and unwind and have some adult conversation. My time to just do what I want, when I want and how I want. But more than THAT... what will I do with them now during my planned, booked and paid for holiday at the end of the year.
This is not the first time he has pulled this 'stunt', but the big difference is that in the past I would give in (due to above 2 reasons) and put up with him and his presence in my life. BUT NOT ANYMORE. As for the rest, well... I'll survive, I always do... and I am going to have to start relying on family more.
By the time he left I was soooo frazzled by the events of the evening, and was left quite upset and even sad... but let me explain why before you start thinking that I still have an iota of feeling for the man.
Why was I upset... well for 2 reasons... one selfish and one not
1. My children... How do I explain to them that their father doesn't want to see them again? Do I bother trying to explain it at all? As much as I can't stand the sight of him anymore, they do still need a father in their lives... Especially my son
2. My 'me' time (the time I had to myself when they went to their father) is now gone. It is not that I want to get away from my kids (couldn't be further from the truth). But those fortnightly breaks help me to restore some of my sanity, and unwind and have some adult conversation. My time to just do what I want, when I want and how I want. But more than THAT... what will I do with them now during my planned, booked and paid for holiday at the end of the year.
This is not the first time he has pulled this 'stunt', but the big difference is that in the past I would give in (due to above 2 reasons) and put up with him and his presence in my life. BUT NOT ANYMORE. As for the rest, well... I'll survive, I always do... and I am going to have to start relying on family more.
6 comments:
Yikes, this cannot be easy. Stay strong M.
M after all that we have been through I cannot believe you still fall for this CRAP! It is just BEFH doing all he is good at..emotional blackmail. The most common divorce trick in the book is using the kids. He catches you every time. Play him back sweetheart..like I taught you to do!!!! Make it clear to him that a rational mature decision is required and if that is his choice it is up to him to tell the kids that he no longer wants to be in their life. You will no longer do his dirty work for him. Also, tell him that seeing as how he is emotionally confused maybe his recent decision is in their best interest. See how he likes 'em apples!
adumski when was life ever meant to be easy...
Lady B (anon) That's just it... I am NO LONGER falling for this game of his. And I made it perfectly clear to him that this is HIS decision - not to see the kids - and that I will never again feel guilty about it.
i agree wholeheartedly with you on this m- "...good riddance to bad rubbish is all I can say..."
a restraining order will definitely help- and is a court enforced visitation structure a possibility? i dunno about these things...
Can't you get a court order which forces this creature to go and see a psychologist? This thing is unbalanced!
Someone needs to explain to this jerk what it means to be a father. His responsibility to his children ends... uh... never.
Post a Comment