"Have you ever been approached by a colleague..." he asked. He didn't even have to finish the sentence and I realised what he was asking. This got me to thinking about office romances/flings, the pro's the con's the hook-up's and break-up's
I have always been of the opinion that they are generally a bad idea, you know the old adage "don't dip your pen in the company ink pot" OR the lovely images invoked by "don't shit where you eat" (or something like that). Maybe it is because in my previous jobs I have never worked with anyone that has made me want to change that idea, but also the thought of what the hell happens when things go horribly wrong and you still have to work closely with this person, that I have never really given this much thought. However at my current job I have found myself rethinking my position.
I have known many people over the years who have met their future partners at work and all has gone very well for them, in fact I know of at least 2 couples where I am now, so obviously it can work but then I think you must know from the onset that there is more than just a physical attraction and you must both be looking for more than just a casual fling, or you both have to be the type of people that can separate work and pleasure and be able to not let the one effect the other... easier said than done.
ANYWAY, back to why I started this post...
I have two colleagues here who have made me rethink this idea... call them Mr X and Mr Y.
Mr X is oh soo cool and confident and self assured and would be great for a fling or casual booty-call (for lack of a better way to describe it) but I know that I am as far from his 'type' as it comes. He has the type of personality that draws people to him. A great guy, a good conversationalist, fun and sexy. The more I think about it the more I know that it wouldn't work and we would simply not be right for each other on all levels. So with him I am easily able to put those thoughts to the back of my mind and get on with life/work... now if only he would get out of my dreams (yup, twice in one week.... hmmmmmm)
Mr Y couldn't be more different from Mr X in appearance. He is as down-to-earth as it comes, a huge amount of fun, caring, gentle, funny, all around NICE GUY and bloody good looking to boot. He is everything I have ever wanted or looked for in a man but he is also UNAVAILABLE (and that is a boundary I am NOT prepared to cross). And believe me, if it wasn't for that last little detail, this notion of not mixing work with pleasure would have gone straight out of the window without even so much as a seconds hesitation. Now to perfect that human cloning thing :)
Anyway, just wanted to share my thought and ramblings... now it is your turn... have you ever? would you? how did it work out? don't be shy... TELL ALL
---------UPDATE ---------
Another thought/question connected to above and at the same time not...
At what point do you tell someone how you feel about them, even if you know that nothing more will come of it other than getting it out in the open, even if you have no idea how they will react all the time hoping that it won't f-up the friendship that you DO have????
9 comments:
Sorry, no answers here, but I do have a question: if you know someone is unavailable (and it's a line you don't want to cross) then what would your motive be for doing so?
That's just it.... I WOULDN'T... but it doesn't mean that I am not incredibly attracted to him regardless. If he were single then I would, but his not, so I won't. Thank God I still have my dreams :)
It is only natural to feel attracted to someone you work with. It is where you spend most of your time in close proximity with others.
Having said that, my motto is, "Don't screw the crew". If nothing comes of it, you may have lost more than you bargained for.
Phew, this is a tough one. Thanks for stopping by my blog btw - appreciate it.
OK, so my view is that, if you do meet someone it is a difficult choice to make, but think of this. When you had the best friends and partners in your life it was always because you got to spend a large portion of time with them. As adults the only "large" portion of time we get to spend is time at work, therefore it may make it a 'better' relationship?
I have never though about a relationship, but random thumping of a co-worker has definitely crossed my mind.
Been there, done that, got the T-shirt. DON'T recommend it though.
As for at what point do you tell someone how you feel about them. I do right when I realise how I feel. But I don't recommend that either because all you get is a view of the person's back as they run over the far horizon.
i haven't... and i wouldn't... like you said- fot the wuck do you do if it goes wrong?!?
what did you decide?
I been there, and No dont do it. It puts unwanted presure on both parties if it does not work.
Luckely she and I worked in different departments but it still effected us and it effected the office relatinships / friendships as well
Hmm been there, done that, threw away the T-shirt! It was VERY horrible at work for a GOOD few months until he got over himself (we were and still are, both happily married, so there was no reason for him to think it would lead to anything long-term, but he was still terribly bitter and actually horrible when I ended it). We're firm friends now, though!
Also been there. Was HORRIBLE when it fell apart. But I also know couples that have successfully managed this, so I don't know...
Am also still looking for the answer to the "should I tell the person what I'm feeling" conundrum. What has previously stopped me is the thought of destroying a friendship but then I think - how honest is the friendship if something like this is in the way?
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