I am slowly getting myself out of the really bad place I have been in for the last week. Taking control of my life again, or at least trying to. I finally stopped crying yesterday, then it turned to anger and at least that I can deal with, I can rationalise it, get to the source and change it.
So what has changed? Well for starters I am no longer letting BEFH have any control over my emotions, I will NO LONGER expend any energy on him even in the form of anger (which as I have discovered is the most energy sapping emotions there is), he is simply not worth that amount of energy. The second thing that changed is that I ended "it" (whatever "it" was) with Irish... turns out he was a cowardly bastard after all... and that is all I have to say on that matter.
I also had a nice long chat with my mother last night... I am not one who easily asks for help, even if it is just for me to talk to someone, and for some reason my folks are always last on the list of people that I do talk to... so anyway, one of my closest, bestest friends (Lady B) contacted my mom yesterday and that led to my mom popping in for a visit which ended up in us chatting for a few hours. As I discovered yesterday I am more like her than I ever knew (or would ever have admitted in the past)... we are both stubborn and hard headed and strong willed and independent souls who cherish that independence above all else. Anyway, I always knew, and was reminded again last night, that I have their support 100% and that I should never hesitate to ask for that support when needed.
And as for support... Ms C (I know you are reading this too)... thank you, thank you and once again thank you... you know why.
So, in honor of rediscovering some good feelings... here are 3 things that made me happy today
1. My children... they put up with sooo much from me, and even though they can push my buttons like no-ones business, they also know when I am down and are ever ready with hugs and kisses...
2. My family and friends that are always there when I need them most... my mom, Lady B, Ms C, Yummy D
3. A glorious summer day in Cape Town... yes it was a little windy (well maybe more than a little as I discovered when the wind almost took off my skirt when I tried to cross the road) but this is the most beautiful city to be in right now.
3 comments:
That is the spirit and the attitude to have!!! You go girl!!! I am so glad that you are feeling better and it does help to chat to your mom (my mom and I are exactly the same - just as you described), she always knows what to say and has the best advice to give!!!! Take care and have a lovely weekend in the most beautiful city to be in right now!!! {{{hugs}}}
In Cape Town, summer = wind, so it's par for the course. Good kite weather.
nmotb thanks... the spirit and attitude is definitely improving.
kyknoord wind wind everywhere... yeah, summer is finally here.
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