Over the last 2 weeks or so, after I took the ‘brave’ step out onto the e-dating circuit, I have been given a good lesson in humility and treated to many forms of rejection. Not that either was unfamiliar to me to start off with. Humility and humbleness have always been sown into the fabric of my being, I find it very difficult to ‘sell’ myself as I always, in everything I do, underestimate myself (or so I have been told by friends a colleagues alike). This is something I have been working on for the last year or two and have definitely taken giant leaps forward. I fill out all the forms describing myself as honestly as I can, fill out more forms describing the type of person I am looking for and then off we go on the merry hunt. One of the things this ‘site’ does is match up you criteria and descriptions with others to find the ‘perfect match’.
So, after perusing my matches I picked a few that really stood out for me and sent off those ever-dubious first contact messages. So far I have sent out 7 of these with the following outcomes…
3 - made idle chitchat for a few messages and then just stopped
2 - one or two messages followed with the statement “thanks for contacting but I need to carry on looking for that someone special” – oh but this did wonders for the self esteem
2 - simply ignored me completely (now, what is up THAT)
Then I realized that there are 4 types of people on this site (at least that I have encountered so far)
- Too May Any – These are the ones that are completely vague about what they are looking for marking every single characteristic from location to age to current relationship status as ‘any’ resulting in a 100% match with the entire population. They are mostly harmless, but as far as I am concerned a complete waste of time and space.
- Specifically Ignorant – This is a very interesting group. They are almost overly specific about their requirements, however when they actually meet one, they somehow come to the conclusion that that person is in fact NOT what they are looking for. Basically, they don’t really know what they want, but have this image of the perfect person (that doesn’t actually exist) and are in the never-ending pursuit thereof.
- Honest creeps – These are oddly enough the most harmless of the lot as they are the easiest to spot. They are complete honest about the fact they are either swingers, married and looking for a little something on the side, or downright sexaholics.
- Innocent Friendlies – These are the ones that are actually prepared to communicate with you and get to know you a little bit, however they lack that certain spark (for me at least). They generally initiate communication. Generally very mild mannered and gentle people. This might be where my problem is… I am notoriously attracted to ‘bad-boys’ and smooth-talkers.
All this is truly NO GOOD for an already battered and bruised self-confidence. But then again, maybe all that is just the pessimist in me talking :) So for now I shall continue in my pursuit of the ‘perfect person’, or at least one that thinks I might be, remembering that what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger (only maiming you in the process).
8 comments:
Don't lose hope..
From what I can tell you're on the same site I spent at least 14 months perusing, dating, being rejected, insulted and made to laugh so hard I fell off my chair. I had lots of fun, but boy, the dating stories I could tell you!
At the end when I did decide to delete my profil, a cheeky bastard messaged me and got me caught up in his web. From the day he walked into my work place unexpectedly, we haven't been apart; we're now married for over a year and living far away.
Just do the weeding and try and have fun in the process!
Good luck!
helloooooo- fellow solo act here, visiting you for the first time!
i also joined a dating website- twice- the first time out of curiosity and the second time to prove a point to people who think its just SO wrong that i'm happily single!
both times i cancelled my membership before my subscription had even lapsed because i got so annoyed with the losers who "contact" you even though you're nowhere NEAR a match to their criteria and the one's who contact you despite fitting into the group you DON'T want to "meet" (the types labelled as not-negotiable)!
urgh...
i also came to the conclusion that i must be immensely shallow because i didn't even like any of the ones that DID fit my criteria. mwaaaahahahahaha
Hallo, I see you are also a new blogger - Nice Blog - Hey you guy's, you don't need a dating site to find the perfect match - there is a perfect match somewhere out there - You will find him - All good things come to those you are patient! When you see him you will know!!!!!! Ok Angel, one can only be so patient, I know!!! lol
swisstwist 14 months... I have only just made it through 14 days and an about to run for the hills screaming. :)
angel my problem is the ones that fit MY criteria don't seem to be interested in me.
nmotb I haven't yet lost hope in finding the perfect person, I just figure this is as good a way as any to find him.
Hi there. You paid me a visit so I had to sneak a peak and enjoyed your site!!! I share your love for bad boys, but mind you, I have been married 3 times and am now living with my ultimate bad boy!! We are not married but I am extremely happy with him. Life puts you on a path you have to travel to find the one. My advice, beware the pitfalls along the way. Never settle for something you are not 100% happy with just for the sake of not being alone. Trust me!!!
You would think that with 7 billion or so on the planet it would be a touch easier, wouldn't you?
buddess Thanks for the visit... hope to see you more. Life.. well I am ONLY 28 and already had a fair share of it's ups and downs. Here's hoping MY perfect bad boy crosses my life path.
kyknoord You'd think so, wouldn't you... 'water water everywhere and not a drop to drink' :)
how weird is that- i had EXACTLY the same issue! maybe they're all as shallow as i am... mwaaaahahahahaha!
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