Fun Friday

Another in what I am hoping to start making a regular feature here. Fun Friday.

Over the years I have amassed a HUGE amount of jokes, funnies and anecdotes. To all those who have sent these to me THANKS...

Below is a list of various things broadcasters have said... bringing into crystal clarity the TRUE meaning of the phrase "Think before you talk":

• Michael Buerk watching Phillipa Forrester cuddle up to a male astronomer for warmth during BBC1’s UK eclipse coverage remarked: "They seem cold out there, they’re rubbing each other and he’s only come in his shorts."
• Ken Brown commentating on golfer Nick Faldo and his caddie Fanny Sunneson lining up shots at the Scottish Open: "Some weeks Nick likes to use Fanny, other weeks he prefers to do it by himself."
• Mike Hallett discussing missed snooker shots on Sky Sports: "Stephen Hendry jumps on Steve Davis’s misses every chance he gets."
• Jack Burnicle was talking about Colin Edwards’s tyre choice on World Superbike racing: "Colin had a hard on in practice earlier, and I bet he wished he had a hard on now."
• During the 1989 Masters golf tournament, commentator Richie Benaud observed: "Notices are appearing at courses telling golfers not to lick their balls on the green."
• Clair Frisby talking about a jumbo hot dog on Look North said: "There’s nothing like a big hot sausage inside you on a cold night like this."
• James Allen interviewing Ralf Schumacher at a Formula One Grand Prix, asked: "What does it feel like being rammed up the backside by Rubens Barichello?"
• Steve Ryder covering the US Masters: "Ballesteros felt much better today after a 69."
  The new stand at Doncaster race course took Brough Scott’s breath away … "My word," he said, "look at that magnificent erection."
• Willie Carson was telling Claire Balding how jockeys prepare for a big race when he said: "They usually have four or five dreams a night about coming from different positions."
• A female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn’t, turned to the weatherman and asked, "So Bob, where’s that eight inches you promised me last night?" Not only did the weatherman have to leave the set, but so did half the crew, they were laughing so hard.
• US PGA commentator: "One of the reasons Arnie (Arnold Palmer) is playing so well is that before each tee shot, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them. Oh dear lord!! What have I just said??"
• Metro Radio: "Julian Dicks is everywhere. It’s like they’ve got eleven dicks on the field."
• Harry Carpenter at the Oxford / Cambridge boat race in 1977: "Ah, isn’t that nice? The wife of the Cambridge President is kissing the Cox of the Oxford crew."
• Ted Walsh (horse racing commentator): "This is really a lovely horse. I once rode her mother."

Having read these again I can only but imagine the search hits that I may be getting now.

Have a great weekend all.